friday .... september 25th

So I woke up.... And decided that I'm still going to write because if I don't ill probally go insane. Today was my anniversary.... And on top of a list of other emotions and personal issues at home and otherwise.... I just don't feel like a winner today..... I got into it with her last night about what I tell people.... And truthfully I don't tell much all the shit we done been thru you would think she would know that.... The source of my previous posting today was due to a discussion with her and her saying she would never come around my mom or sister.... Or my friends becausei guess she feels I tell them too much.... But I don't... Nobody knows what happened but me her and god... When you tell people things they form biases... And that's why I don't... Because some people don't know the difference between just hearing a friend and taking whatever a person says literally.... My mom really cares for her... And for her to say that bothered me... For seven months you were a fixture in my home... And around my important. People... Specifically my mom... Who calls her .... Her daughter.. Nobody in my house would ever treat her bad... They don't have a right to...


- feel overwhelmed... As usual... I'm tired of waking up and just feeling bad... This morrning in particular I feel horrible... And on top of that me and mom"s communication lines are a little crossed today.... So I worry.... And wonder....


Before I started writing this.... I was crying ... But now I feel better... This is truly a form of release therapy...

- wrote a poem for her for our anniversary...
Should I still give it to her...


I'm not sure.... I feel like she could care less... About what happened with us... I told her yesterday.... I don't want her to try anymore if she feels like I can't make her happy.....

ah...

Happy not-anniversary...

I'm gonna watch greys... And then get this day started... Hopefully it can end on a positive note...