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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

laying in the dark.

So I'm laying in the dark. I hear the tv. But imma turn it down.. so.. my mind is kinda wanderin because I don't know what to do. I love her. And.. well we fight so much. But like we have a good week and then a horrible fighting spree. I invited her over.. and it's still weird. Maybe I'm the reason we fight. Maybe my gaurd is up. But I mean I think its down I say things I normally don't and don't have the absoulte urge to call her all kinds of bittches.. I usually woulda been cussed her to no end and that woulda been that. Maybe my attention span is lacking.. but I do wanna be there. And when we fight I don't. I dnt like confrontation. And I do see a future. But I mean...


So. I am off for the summer what to do? I wanna road trip but I'm broke. I wanna do some stufffffffffffff.. idk. Gimme sum ideassss.. please. I wanna finish tatting myself too.. work of art. Hopefully. I can do it big this summer but I got some time and I need to hustle up...for the raging bull 5 packs... may 30 ... time is ticking away.. my mom wants to throw a bbq for her bday I wanna get sumthin nice. Idk.

Ideas please...

Later dayz.. hey wat happened to the weekenders cartoon. I liked it.

Monday, May 18, 2009

long time no read...

Sorry subscribers.. I been busy. But now that I'm off work for the summer means more time to think and write... isn't that great? LOL.. well much of nothing has been going on.. jus chillin. Working on finding a summer job and shit like that.. but overall I think I'm good... I have a girfriend.. and its actually a sucessful relationship... when we aren't arguing. Which I mean we don't argue that often.. but yeahh.. I guess I lost a friend too.. cause for some reason she thinks everyone is out to get her.. and idk if I wanna put up with that.. oh well fck it!

So... my life has been pretty good. I miss my sorors but.. pretty good.. I have neen thinking and money really doesn't make ther person. You can have tons of cash and everyone is still gonna think ur a dickwad... but its you and your actions that make you loveable or jus help you make your way in this crazy world... I jus feel like who you are shouldn't be because of what you have.. but what you have done for the world....

Soooo maxwell.. is hawt.. and I dnt even like the fellas.. he's soooo swave..::snap snap:: 7/7/09 I will be in line to buy his album! Yay! This dude helped me thru one of the most traumatic years of my life... 8th grade... him and layrn hill.. music really saved my life.. and I will be forver greatful to music for helping me out....

So.. what I really came to talk abt.. insecurities... so why do they exist? What happened to make you feel infenior? Why do you want to be looked at in a certain light or be on someones list of approval?

"It's over and done, but the heartache lives on... inside" -destiny's child: emotion-

Pandora is the best.. esp on my bbery! :)


What makes you insecure.. love? Life? Or jus circumstances that we cannot control? Is it the urge to be loved? Or were you jus not loved enough? Cause I find myself being insecure every once and a while, or jus second guessing myself..... for what I don't know...last night I had a moment.. and it's crazy how she can read my mind.. and ask what's wrong. She always knows when something is bothering me.. always.. I can't even lie. Lol. She jus keeps asking.. and. It drives me craxy because sometimes I jus wanna be left alone in my thoughts...

Omg pandora is the truth. Yooouuu brrriinnnggg mmmeeeee jjooooyyyyy...SING IT ANITA! LOL

So what do you guys think... what makes someone insecure? Cause I have no idea what brings up my insecurities....


About Me

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my name is sharda' I am a student/ full time manager/ busy body. I am writing about my personal expirences, and my life, and everyone in it. and just letting you all get to know me.