solo dolo.

I feel so stressed... so.. like overwhelmed. so much so that my thoughts consume me... I dont sleep much anymore... and I think it's due to all the worry. I am. a. worry.wart.


she used to say I think too much.. and now that I am here writing I think I do... lol..I have a few friends... and they say it too...

worry produces fear.

i wish i could just know what it feels like to have nothing on your mind. just nothing.

not things like:
I wonder if she loves me...
as much as I love her...
Im upset about this i wonder
if she is, or if it even bothers her...
if she loved me...
why would she say that...
if she loved me...
why would she do that....

I wish that it could have continued forever. but i guess it's just not meant for us...When I say this is a love that I have never had, it truly is, the wave of sadness on me is different from anything I have ever felt before...anyone else I befriended after... but I don't think I could be friends with her.. I am so attached, and feel more than even I thought I could imagine. I do things and say things so differently. I handled her differently from any woman I have ever dated.EVER...UGH. I love her.so. much.


and a list of other emotions... and feelings and worries.. no matter what I do, those above questions blurr into my thoughts...I don't want them to. I should be sure. like everyone else. Im sure I want to be in it for the long haul.... but I ask if she is and worry... and worry.. and worry...

and then...

back to what I was originally doing.

words. are just words. but words leave a scar that you cannot see.

and

then again.. words make you remember who you are.


cheers...


I really hope this feeling goes away soon..