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Friday, September 25, 2009

wtf :(

what the fuck.
what the fuck.
what the fuck.

Im still feeling super stressed... and truthfully this is my main outlet. when I write it helps me feel at ease. when I was smaller my anger would consume me to the point where I would black out.. and Had to seek anger management.
but now I guess... I won't write what I feel anymore.. or skribble the awkward thoughts I am feeling. my anger management advisor... in the 8th grade gave me a note book.. I wouldn't talk to him. and it stopped me from fighting people. and being an asshole.

maybe I should find another hobby. because if I think it, say it, or write it... it seems to be wrong.

I give up...

Im just feeling. lost. and hurt. like truly hurt. I sit and I stew and suppress issues. and now , unfortunately it's turned me into a huge mess.

because even though Im friendly im very introverted. I go for spans at times, when I begin to feel this way, not speaking to anyone... I am actually thinking of taking a leave from my sorority.. because I don't want to be around anyone in this state. my best childhood friend, said it took years for him to get to know me. my two best friends don't know the things I told her. things that I always kept to myself. those fears, insecurities, and issues... when they ask how im doing. I say fine. just fine. because I don't want to burden anyone... most people call or talk to me for advice... they need me so I choose to just try to work on me, alone...

I quit. Im done blogging.

like.. I thought maybe writing this blog, would help me cope with things.. but I guess not.

I guess it's just me, myself, and I... Minus the notebook.. or the computer screen..


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my name is sharda' I am a student/ full time manager/ busy body. I am writing about my personal expirences, and my life, and everyone in it. and just letting you all get to know me.