MY own worst ENEMY.

my multi tasking skills are going to be tested, I am playing poker and trying to write this blog. lol..

here we go.

so I think when it comes to relationships that I maybe my own worst enemy. sometimes I get scared and say things in hopes that it will push the person away, knowing that I want them around. but then sometimes I don't give a shit. and sometimes I wish i could turn the I dont give a shit filter off...

for the most part I am a decent person, but in certain situations insecurities appear, and sometimes it's not a good look. Like I think all the time that a person could possibly not like me for me... Im moody, chubby, a bit socially stunted and a list of other things. so sometimes I do wonder if these people like what they see or just me. but that's just sometimes, for the most part i'm preeettyyy sure of myself and maybe that's what they like.. either way I jus wanna be cared for how I care for these people ... when I love I do it hard and would give someone the world if I had it... but sometimes it's hard for me to let that gaurd down and potentially be hurt....... so... now i'm stuck and i possibly could be putting myself here in this positon.


anyway... I am kickin ass in this poker game.
tell me why my mom is maddd pumped about her new phone that she don't know how to work.lol. she was getting all mad like " why don't all the numbers show up?" and I told her cause she didn't put the area codes in... and she says " man fuck this phone.that's bullshit. technology sucks.. when i had a razar, I ain't have to do all this shit" lmao. mom <3!


i don't know what to get my sister and mommmy for vday... ideas?