she's a bit..

Intimdating.

she intimitades me, it makes me a lil uncomfortable, I jus wish I could say whatever, and be cool.but I'm so nervous about it. I'm so nervous...

Why am I so nervous? I really like her, but I guess I have been thrown in to the friend zone.. which sucks, and I'll get over it, hopefully sooner than later, Riko needs to come out... I need to get out of my shell, diamond says life is no fun for turtles, I really wish it wasn't so hard for me to do this, so hard for me to speak up...

I'm socailly akward, I don't know why.... and it bothers me when she speaks about other people, cause I wish I could just like kinda un-ravel, just be me, I wish i could really put this huge gaurd down, or these shitty ass defense mechcanisims, cause they suck mucho balls yo.

Like when they don't matter I talk, I'm cool and shit, but man this one, and the last one who made my heart skip I couldn't even figure how to say hey you mean the world to me. I wanna make you happy, ya kno???


this shit is so werid, I guess i'm coming in to my own, but geesh how long is it gonna take, for me to be a cooler individual on the dating side of things, my friends love me but i guess the shorties don't, and the way i feel maybe they should... diamond says "if the bitch don't like you then she wack" lol. she's my biggest supporter, mainey loves me too.. well all my boos love me much... I just really don't know at all how I am supposed to do this dating thing, and it seems like when i meet em, My feelings build a whole heck of a lot, and then I'm left with my feelings alone...

I dunno what I am doing wrong, and wish I could be like oh well forget it move on, that usually is my plan, to do that, but then, I just dwell and fucking ewwwwwwwwww..... what the hell... blah.. blah........

I'm hungry... I want some taco dip.. MOM! where are you when you are needed?!??!??!??!??!??!??!??!??!

lol....

"you cant be a turtle, turtles have no fun"

that means I need to get out of this shell, maybe show people more of me, and just be more open to things.